all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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