I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
