My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize