Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
