I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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