anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
