she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
