did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
