she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
