Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
