I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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