College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
