She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
