at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
