i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
