Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
