i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
is wine microwaveable?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
and you fell through a lawn chair
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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