There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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