what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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