nut hugger
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize