a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
what the fuck happened to the tacos
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
