He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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