sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
