I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
