Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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