Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
