Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
