Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
