Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
