No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
