You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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