God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
