why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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