I heard we made out
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
