Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
That's how pantless uber rides happen
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
