she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
