Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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