i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
