When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
