You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
