I can't breathe out the right side of my face
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
