saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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