she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
