I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
