Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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