i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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