Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
