ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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