Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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