You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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