look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
