ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
