She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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