im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i dont even know how to be here
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize