dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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