i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
